Jerry Linscheid

By Lorie Ham

We have been living a new normal for the past few months, finding ourselves mostly at home except if we have to work or get supplies. Because of that, many are finding new and creative ways to spend their time. Some are even starting brand new hobbies they never would have thought of before this.

Mennonite Insurance employee Vic Alemania has picked up an unusual new hobby that is not only fun but also practical in many ways–smoking meats. “I have always loved to BBQ, and have eaten at BBQ restaurants, and a plate of ‘ribs, brisket, and pulled pork’ is pricey… so I thought I can do it cheaper and maybe better!”

So he set out to learn more about smoking meats by watching the Food Network, BBQ TV shows, and of course YouTube where you can find videos on how to do almost anything. While educating himself he also had to determine what kind of equipment he might need. “I have two charcoal Webers and just purchased an offset smoker.”

Vic says that he smokes ribs, brisket, pork shoulder, and chicken, and purchases them from the usual places like Costco, Sam’s Club, and Wholesale Meat Markets. He uses the Snake Method, which is low and slow. It takes anywhere from four to 12 hours to smoke the meat, depending on the type of meat and the weight. Perth BBQ School is one of many websites with detailed and easy to follow instructions on smoking meats.

The hardest part has been maintaining the temperature at 250-275 degrees, but Vic says he feels that anyone should be able to do it, especially if they own a 22-inch Weber.

What he enjoys most about smoking meats is that it is hands on, as he is adding wood, charcoal, or wood chips as it goes along instead of using a pellet smoker. There is a special satisfaction to having done it all yourself, and the money you save is a nice bonus. “And I think my BBQ is better,” Vic says, with a smile.

Thanks to his new hobby, not only is Vic providing this delicious meat to his immediate family, but he has also been able to share with neighbors. 

So if you are looking for something new to try, and you love BBQ, why not give it a shot! 

By Lorie Ham

On the evening of August 8, I heard a strange noise on the front doorstep. In this age of pandemic, this made me even more nervous than usual. Who would be at my doorstep this time of the evening? Was someone trying to steal my latest Amazon package I had forgotten to take in? 

I put on my mask and grabbed the baseball bat near my front door. I slowly opened the door, hoping it was just the neighborhood cat and that there wasn’t some unmasked stranger standing there. I looked all around, but there was no one there. I took a deep breath, grabbed my Amazon package, and then froze. There on my doorstep was a basket of zucchini! 

I took the package inside, quickly washed my hands, and then slipped back out to look over this mysterious bundle. There wasn’t a note anywhere, and the zucchini looked fresh so the person hadn’t left rotting zucchini out there as some sort of prank. But why on earth had someone done this? Was it some zucchini farmer trying to get people hooked so they would start buying zucchini? No that didn’t make sense, there was no way to be sure anyone would then buy it from that farmer. 

I grabbed a flashlight and began looking all around the front steps for any kind of clue. Anything the mysterious zucchini phantom may have dropped, or footprints they may have left behind. But nothing. I sighed in exasperation. I didn’t like unsolved mysteries.

Giving up on my search for clues I gingerly picked up the basket and took it in the house. I put it on the kitchen counter, then went to sit in my recliner for a while continuing to puzzle out what could have happened. The basket seemed pretty ordinary, no lead to follow there. It wasn’t as if I could call the police and have them dust for prints or check for DNA, they would just laugh.

My tummy began to grumble, the zucchini did look awfully good. My mouth watered at the thought of grilled or fried zucchini. I hadn’t had that in ages. But what if it were poisoned? Did someone know I loved zucchini and they were using this as a clever ploy to poison me? Hmm, I really couldn’t think of anyone who hated me enough to do that. My ex and I had split amicably, I wasn’t in any kind of feud with a family member over an inheritance, and I worked from home so I didn’t have any coworkers who hated me. No this seemed unlikely, unless of course there was a poison zucchini serial killer! 

I finally gave in, washed some of the zucchini, and started looking up recipes online. I found one that sounded good and easy, and went for it. It was delicious! When I was done stuffing my face with fried zucchini, I realized it was late and headed to bed, even though I was still bothered by the mystery of where it had come from.

The next morning as I went out to pick up my newspaper from the driveway my neighbor Charlie started waving at me and smiling. “So how did you like the zucchini?”

I gasped. It was from him? But why? “Um, it was great. Charlie why did you leave it on my doorstep without a note?” 

He laughed. “Because August 8 is National Sneak Some Zucchini on your Neighbor’s porch day. Didn’t you know that?”

Not wanting to appear uninformed, I smiled. “Oh yeah sure I knew that. Thanks.” I then grabbed my newspaper and rushed back inside and straight to my computer. 

Sure enough, he was right! According to The Old Farmer’s Almanac website, apparently news and talk radio personality Tom Roy at wellcat.com created the holiday as a way for gardeners to rid themselves of extra produce. The article went on to say that at this time of year zucchini vines go crazy producing hundreds of tiny squash and that they quickly grow to gargantuan size if not picked. To celebrate this unusual holiday, you simply wait until the dead of night and quietly creep up to your neighbors’ front doors and leave plenty of zucchini for them to enjoy.

I laughed. Well now I had heard everything. A holiday for zucchini? But as I remembered how wonderful the fried zucchini tasted during the night, I thought maybe this is actually a great holiday! Maybe I should grow my own zucchini and sneak some on someone else’s doorstep next year. 

I smiled and began looking up information on growing zucchini. A sinister laugh bubbled out of me. Next year I would be the zucchini phantom! 

By Lorie Ham

2020 has been a very different year thanks to a global pandemic that has caused lockdowns, businesses, and schools being closed, events being canceled, and so much more. Parents have had their kids home 24/7 for the last few months instead of just during summer vacation, and have been faced with the challenge of finding them things to do when they weren’t doing schoolwork. 

Now summer vacation is here and it has left kids without even schoolwork to occupy their time. So with theme parks and summer camps mostly closed what is there for them to do? Many summer camps have actually taken their events online, so while you might want to limit their screen time, it still would give kids something positive to do. One particularly fun looking camp alternative is Virtual Tech Camps, who offer camps on designing video games and coding, among other fun tech related choices. Another tech related camp is Intellibricks, which offers robotics and STEM classes. The New York Film Academy is offering online summer camps for your more arts minded kids. Fresno Music Academy also now offers online classes. While many of the online camps cost money, Summer Camp Hub offers suggestions for some free online summer camps. 

There are also a lot of other things kids that can do that don’t require them to be on the computer–such as reading. Many libraries are still doing summer reading programs where kids can sign up online and get prizes for reading, and some libraries, including Fresno County Libraries, also offer virtual performances. And if you don’t have any books left at home that the kids haven’t already read, most libraries are now at least offering curbside service, and there are e-books and digital audiobooks available to borrow as well. 

If you are looking for something more active for your kid to do, there are activities that have stood the test of time which are still possible to do with social distancing–playing basketball with family at home in the driveway, taking walks as a family, and in some places you can now go fishing. 

Another fun family activity that has gotten very popular again is board games. If you don’t have any on hand, and don’t feel comfortable heading out to the store to purchase them, there are many options for purchasing them online including Amazon, or you can find other suggestions on Finder.com, or just do a Google search.

Many churches are planning to hold Vacation Bible School virtually this summer.  Check your local church for their schedule.

So don’t worry if you have a house full of restless kids, there are still a lot of fun things for them to do. Have a great and safe summer!